Psyche & Soul 58: SIGNING OFF

Psyche & Soul 58

SIGNING OFF

Jose Parappully SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Podcast Link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-58-Psyche--Soul--123-e15hk6o

Hello, this is Jose Parappully, Salesian priest and clinical psychologist at Sumedha Centre for Psychospiritual Wellbeing at Jeolikote, Uttarakhand (sumedhacentre@gmail.com) signing off with the final edition of Psyche & Soul.

……..

Dear Listeners,

This is the final podcast in the series Psyche and Soul. For the 57 weeks, I have been able to present regularly some psychospiritual reflections on these podcasts. In these reflections I used insights from psychology, sacred scripture as well as the socio-political realities of our everyday life to help us enhance our emotional wellbeing and our spiritual life – our psyche and our soul.

Thank you very much for your encouragement and appreciation which kept me going, week after week for more than a year. A special word of thanks to PT Joseph, the www.donboscoindia.com  web master, and CM Paul of Radio Salesian for facilitating the uploading of the podcast, and to Yesudas Karakkattu for composing and performing the Psyche & Soul theme song and background music.

All the 57 podcasts will be available on www.donboscoindia.com webpage, and www.anchor.fm/boscom  for you to access whenever you want. May these podcasts enhance your psychospiritual journey, take you deeper and deeper into your psyche and soul.

In this final podcast, No 58, I list the weekly podcasts under 8 themes.

Theme 1: Psychospiritual Wellbeing (5 podcasts)

1.      1.Foundations of Health and Happiness.

2.      2. Childhood Foundation of Healthy Relationships:  Trust

3.      3. Childhood Foundations of Healthy Relationships 2: Secure Attachments

4.      4. Threats To Healthy Adult Relationships: Insecure Attachments In Childhood

5.      5. Need Empathic And Admirable People Around Us

Theme 2. There were four podcasts Related to the Corona Pandemic (4 podcasts)

Covid:  A Time of Massive Disruption (19)

6.      6. Self-Care During Covid

7.      7. Coping with Stress and Anxiety During Covid – Physical, Mental and Spiritual Strategies

      Transformation through Community & Compassion (20)

Theme 3: Emotional Wellbeing (11 podcasts)

8.      8. Need Fulfilment and Emotional Maturation

9.       9. Living with Meaning and Purpose

1010 .  Self-Knowledge

1111. .  Self-acceptance

1212..  Balancing Autonomy and Dependence

1313.  Emotions, Health and Happiness

1414.  Living Gratefully

1515.  Generosity

1616.  Hope And Optimism

1717. Resilience: Thriving Despite Adversity

1818.  Stress: Prevention and Relief

Theme 4: Spirituality (6 podcasts)

2121.  Psychology, Spirituality and Religion

2222.  A Splintered, Distorted Spirituality

2323.  Holistic Spirituality: Wholeness, Not Flawlessness

2424.  Spirituality of Simplicity – “Downward Mobility”

2525.  Spirituality of Embodiment

2626.  Moving into the New Year with Hope!

Theme 6: Mental Health (12 podcasts)

2727.  Mental Health and Wellbeing

2828.  Enhancing Mental Health and Wellbeing Through Grateful Living

2929.  Enhancing Mental Health and Wellbeing Through Meaningful Living

3030.  Enhancing Mental Health and Wellbeing: Some Simple Practices

3131.  Enhancing Mental Health: 7 More Simple Practices

3232.  The Burden of Mental Illness

3333.  Major Depression

3434.  Schizophrenia - 1

3535.  Schizophrenia – 2: Symptoms and Dynamics

36.36  Schizophrenia – 3: Roots And Remedies. 

3737. Anxiety Disorder 

3838. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Theme 7: Personality Disorders (5 podcasts)

3939.  Personality Disorders: What They Are.

4040.  Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

4141. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.  

4142. Borderline Personality Disorder., 

4343.  Paranoid Personality Disorder

Theme 8: Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey (14 podcasts)

4444.  Awakening to Midlife

4545.  Midlife Journeying

4646.  Emotional Awareness of Mortality

4747.  Time for Reassessment

4848.  Reassessment of “Dreams. 

4949. De-Illusioning 

5050.  Redeeming the “Shadow”

5151.  (Re-) Emergence of Sexuality and Intimacy Needs

5252.  Sexuality and Intimacy Needs: Women’s Experience

5353.  Balancing the Masculine and the Feminine

5454.  Moving Toward Integrity 

5555.Atonement (At-One-Men)t. 

5656. Aging Gracefully 

5757.  Spirituality for the Post-Midlife Years

 

I conclude with some significant quotes from the podcasts, something I would like to leave as a legacy from these podcasts.

“Acceptance of oneself is …the acid test of one’s whole outlook on life.” Carl Jung

“If you have a WHY to live for, you can live any HOW.” Nietzsche

 “If the only prayer you ever say in your life is ‘Thank you’, that is enough” Meister Eckhart

 “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

 “Split the wood, and I am there. Turn over the stone, and there you will find me.” Jesus, in the Gospel of Thomas, #77)

 

Thank you once again, for listening, for your support and appreciation. May your life be healthy and happy!

Theme Song “Listen to the Spirit.” Lyric by Jose Parappully SDB.  Sung by Yesudas Karakkatttu SDB

The Spirit is in us, around us!

Speaking to us…

Through all that happens to us

And around us.

Inviting and exhorting us

To health and wholeness.

Come let us listen to the Sprit

Let’s grow in our psyche and soul.

Background music: Composed and performed by Yesudas Karakkattu, SDB

Jose Parappully SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Psyche & Soul 20: TRANSFORMATION THROUGH COMMUNITY & COMPASSION

 Psyche & Soul 20

TRANSFORMATION THROUGH COMMUNITY & COMPASSION 

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-20-PSYCHE--SOUL-47-emfkd8

 

The podcast last week (No. 19) referred to the massive disruption of life that covid-19 has ushered in. However, in the depth of this disruption that is quite overwhelming, lies the opportunity to create a more beautiful and humane world.

SEEDS OF TRANSFORMATION

As we are used to hearing, in every crisis there is an opportunity. The world as we knew is dead and a new world is struggling to be born. We are witnesses and participants in these birth pangs.

The pandemic has forced us to ask some fundamental existential questions, disquieting questions about the deeper realities of life which, earlier, would have been smothered under the relentless pace of our driven way of life. This questioning is paving the way toward transformation of life and priorities.

As Otto Scharmer, Professor at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) writes in his blog: “As systems collapse, people rise. People rise to the occasion in an absolutely remarkable manner. Hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of volunteers have shown up in their own countries and communities to help their neighbors …. The resilience of the human spirit, the activation of immense profound love and altruistic action, and the deep connections humans feel to each other in such a moment of crisis are moving and awe-inspiring.”

A TIME FOR COMMUNITY AND COMPASSION

Social scientists such as Otto Scharmer, Bob Hanson, Peter Block, Margaret Wheatley and others are reaching a consensus that the way forward from the Covid -19 disruption is through community and compassion. Today, we do not know what the future is going to be, even in the next few months. The challenge is to stay together as a strong community to face what is coming. We are challenged to create the kind of space in which we can feel together and shape together the world that is struggling to emerge.

At a time when life is disrupted and social connections fragmented the greatest need is to build community. At a time when distress is commonplace and so many are wrestling with pain and fear, the need is to reach out in compassion. At a time when loneliness is at a peak, the need is to connect with one another. It is time to reach out in empathy, to be motivated by collective wellbeing, to move from “ego systems to eco systems” to use Otto Scharmer’s favourite phrase. Covid-19 has reminded us of our interconnectedness and interdependence. We survive or sink together. As Pope Francis says in Fratelli Tutti, what we need is the realization that every member of our human race is brother or sister to every other member, no matter how distant or unfamiliar.

Bricks in the Building of Community

·        Sharing Our Vulnerability

We build communities when we share our vulnerabilities. The deeper we share from the inside of us honestly, revealing our pain, fears and anxieties, our uncertainties and insecurities, the deeper the others feel the need to share theirs. When we share our hardships and are sensitive to the hardships others face, experience one another’s pain, we create a bond. We learn to listen deeply to each other. Mary Oliver expresses this dynamic poetically in Wild Geese: “Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.” This sharing and listening result in a mutual opening and expansion of the intelligence of the heart leading to widening of the circle of compassion. Community happens.

·        Transcending Categorization and Exclusion

Community building calls for trans-categorization thinking. Especially at times of crisis the temptation is to see people through categories – us and them (of all sorts). Categorization leads to judgment, contempt and exclusion. Instead of categorization what is needed is curiosity about others. We need to suspend old habits of judgment, have an eagerness to learn about others, see them with fresh eyes.  We need to listen deeply and non-judgmentally. Curiosity and non-judgmental, deep listening will lead us to discover others are no different from ourselves and hence to inclusion and empathy. It helps us break down and cross barriers that divide the world into “us and them” and create an inclusive society.

·         Transformation of Attention

Building community calls for a transformation of attention – from self to the other. We need to shift our gaze very consciously away from self to the other, to the world out there. We need to remove the blindfold of self-focus that prevent us from truly seeing the other as the other is and the situations in which the other is caught up, as they really are. It is this kind of conscious attention toward the other that awakens empathy.

·      From Competition to Collaboration

Community building calls for moving from competition to collaboration. The questions to ask are: What will make all of us flourish, not just me? What is the shared future we want to create together? Transformation happens when we come together and pursue a common purpose– the wellbeing of all. When we do that, we turn crisis into opportunity. This calls for courage to let go of self-interest and parochial thinking, to be empathic and generous, to build bridges and alliances across differences.

·       Caring for the Earth

Creating community calls for caring for our common home - the earth. As Pope Francis exhorts us in Laudato Si, we need to develop greater ecological sensitivity that heals the divide between us humans and the cosmos that we inhabit. Compassion needs to be extended to the earth that is bleeding through the uncaring and insensitive over-exploitation of resources. Currently we are consuming 1.5 times the earth’s capacity to renew itself, hastening its exhaustion.

Being a Peace Warrior

Finally, to build community we are called to be a peaceful, conciliatory presence in the midst of violent situations.  Accordingly to Margaret Wheatley this calls for cultivating virtuous dispositions and practices: compassion, courage, curiosity, kindness, understanding, empathy, vulnerability – and forgiveness. We are invited to access the deeper levels of our humanity where these abide and give them expression. For this we need to create moments of stillness, moments to connect to their source. We need to slow down and put a break on our driven life. We need to become more contemplative. Contemplation enables us to become more calm, peaceful and gentle.

And so, we are invited to journey on, chastened by the pandemic, courageously facing adversity and unpredictability, with changed perspectives and purposes, motivated to build communities of love through compassion, curiosity and courage.

Introspection

·         What is the call to transformation that we are individually and collectively sensing? How are we being challenged by this call?

·         Which of the suggested means of building community appeals to you or you feel you have to practise more? Why?

·         To which one practice will you commit yourself in order to create compassionate communities?

Prayer

In the Letter to the Colossians (Ch. 3, 12-14)St. Paul speaks of some the qualities that help us build communion in community, such as compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, patience and forgivness. We could read this passage and stay with whatever is evoked in us and spend some time in prayer, asking God help to build communities of compassion.

 

Have a pleasant weekend. Be well. Be safe. Be blessed.

Pictures: Courtesy Google Images

 

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Psyche & Soul 57: SPIRITUALITY FOR THE POST-MIDLIFE YEARS

 Psyche & Soul 57

SPIRITUALITY FOR THE POST-MIDLIFE YEARS

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com 

Podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-57-Psyche--Soul--121-e1570kc 

Hello, this is Jose Parappully, Salesian priest and clinical psychologist at Sumedha Centre for Psychospiritual Wellbeing at Jeolikote, Uttarakhand (sumedhacentre@gmail.com) with another edition of Psyche & Soul.

In this edition I present some salient features of a spirituality for the post-midlife years.

**********************

Let me begin with a true story. Thomas grew up in a devout catholic family. He was quite fond of his religion. He liked to go to Mass and serve as an altar boy. One of his brothers became a priest and a sister a religious nun.

However, after his college studies he became a staunch Marxist, distanced himself from his religious roots and began to disparage all forms of religious practices as foolish superstition. He even participated in anti-church rallies, denouncing the clergy. Years passed that way.

Now in his sixties he has gone through a re-conversion. He is again a devout catholic, joining in family prayers, a daily church goer and an active participant in parish activities. He loves especially the Benediction, with the ritualistic ambience of incense and candles. His erstwhile Marxist friends are flabbergasted and even make fun of him. But he does not care.

RE-EXPERIENCING THE SACRED

Re-conversion experience, like that of Thomas, is quite common in the post midlife years.

Often during the journey through adolescence and young adulthood the sense of the sacred recedes and sometimes disappears from conscious awareness and expression. However, as life slows down and one moves toward the sunset years, the sense of the sacred remerges.

Post-midlifers begin to ask some ultimate questions: What is the meaning of life? What happens after death?... A longing for the earlier connectedness with the Divine surfaces along with desire to enhance and deepen it.

The sense of the sacred is manifest in the sense of gratitude for the ways their life has evolved through ups and downs, the many ways their life has been blessed, in the sense of awe and wonder they experience in the nostalgic reminiscence of a long life and in the new openness to and enjoyment of sacred rituals and ceremonies.

Further, post-midlifers become more patient and forgiving, more accepting of vulnerabilities, theirs and those of others, more acknowledging of mistakes and failures.

They begin to see life’s hurdles as spiritual lessons, opportunities for growth and understanding. They discover in the mystical/spiritual realm a new kind of help and solutions for life’s problems and challenges.

 

SOME CHARACTERISTICS

Our spirituality is the way we live the existential realities of everyday life, with an attention to and reverence for the transcendental—that which is beyond us and the phenomenal world. It is not just one aspect of our life. It involves and embraces the whole of our life in the context of everyday living.

Our way of life and consequently our spirituality is conditioned by our life situation and environment in which we live. The post midlife years call for a spirituality keeping with the personal realities of those years: retirement, diminishing physical and mental capacities, emotional awareness of mortality. Below are some characteristics of a spirituality relevant for the post midlife years.

1.      Spirituality of Diminishment

As we grow older many things are taken away from us -- energy, vision, hearing, mobility, memory, mental sharpness. As we diminish in body, mind and spirit, our influence and involvement in the world around us are also lessened. We experience loss of power, status, influence that we once enjoyed.

We are called to find God in these painful losses and limitations. We are called to trust. We are called to engage in the prayer of “acceptance and letting go.”  We pray, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

We are challenged to learn to receive. In our more active days we were proud of our capacity to give, to contribute. Now we are called to receive than give. We are called to humbly recognise our limitations and dependency on others. We acknowledge and gracefully accept our dependency needs. 

2.      Spirituality of Slowing Down

The Spirituality of Diminishment is a “Spirituality of Slowing Down” – adapting our way of being in the world in keeping with our diminishment.

We are invited to free ourselves from all that is unessential and unimportant at this time of our life;

to focus less on achievements and accomplishments and to enjoy the process of living; to assess our self-worth less in terms of what we do, what we are able to accomplish, and more in terms of who we are, the persons we have become.

We were used to measuring our worth in terms of our capacity to accomplish things. Activity filled our lives. But now we can’t do much. Our limited energy is now spent in trying to get from one day to another. Our lives slow down and in that slowing down we are more able to be present to the here-and-now, to all that is happening in and around us. In that slowing down we have the opportunity to become more of a contemplative -- to take time to reminisce, to marvel at the daily miracles around us, to stand in awe and wonder.

3.      Spirituality of Contemplation

A spirituality of slowing down leads to a contemplative spirituality. To be a contemplative is to take a “long, loving, lingering look” at everything around us. We become contemplatives when we begin to experience the extraordinary in the ordinary, a deeper meaning in the mundane, when we focus totally on the here-and-now experience.

We are invited to make our prayer more and more contemplative. Contemplative prayer is simply being present to God, living in the awareness of God’s presence, saying nothing, doing nothing.

Contemplation is closely linked to a sense of awe and wonder — the ability to be moved by the daily miracles happening around us. Albert Einstein observed that a person “who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead.” In our post-midlife years we have ample time to stand in awe and wonder, especially as we engage in nostalgic reminiscence.

4.      Spirituality of Gratitude

A contemplative spirituality in which we are able stand in awe and wonder leads to a spirituality of grateful, appreciative living. As we reminisce over our long journey of life, we find so much to be grateful for. So many wonderful things have happened to us and continue to happen to us, even amidst the fragilities and vulnerabilities of advancing age. We express gratitude for the daily miracles that are part of our lives.

However, gratitude is not just saying “thank you” for the gifts received or for the good things that happen to us. Gratitude, as psychologist Robert Emmons defines it, is “the capacity to feel the emotion of thankfulness on a regular and consistent basis, across situations and over time.” We live gratefully even in the midst of pain and inconveniences. Gratitude is an appreciative disposition that we cultivate, an attitude that enables us to see the silver lining even around dark clouds.

Gratitude is a virtue that has been found to have enormous consequences for physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. As such it has also a utilitarian effect in the post-midlife years. Research has shown that grateful people fall less often sick, and even when they fall sick, they recover faster. More importantly, grateful people live significantly longer and happier lives than ungrateful people.

5.      Spirituality of Atonement

Post midlife years is a time to let go of past hurts and resentments which have such detrimental effect on our physical and mental health. Dr. Herbert Benson, Head of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Harvard University, refers to the great harm that lack of forgiveness does to us. .“There’s a physiology of forgiveness,” he observes. “When you do not forgive, it will chew you up.” That is, it will destroy us from within. We let go of hurts resentments, and we reach out in forgiveness to others, so that we can look forward to death without fear and in peace.

6.      Spirituality of Surrender

As we recognize our limitations and lack of control over many aspects of our lives, we learn to surrender in faith and trust to a God who is in control of our lives. We pay heed to what Jesus told the Centurion: “Fear is useless, only trust is needed.” We trust that the Lord will take care of us. We do not need to worry. We practice a spirituality of surrender. We make our own the the prayer of Jesus in the Garden of Gethesmane: “Let your will be done, not mine.” Or like Mary of Nazareth, we say in faith and trust “Feat!” “Let it be as you wish.)

Introspection

• Is there anything in this podcast that touches me specially? If yes, what is it and why?
• How am I experiencing the re-emergence of the sacred in my life?
• Which of the post-midlife spiritualties are part of my life today and which do I need to practice a little more at this period of my life?

Prayer

Jesus’s assuring last words to us before he returned to his Father are: “I am with you always!” In the Old Testament God through his prophets repeatedly tells his people, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” We could stay a while in the presence of this God who accompanies us with love and care, who understands our inmost thoughts and feelings, desires and longings and talk to God about all that is going on in our lives at this period or what we experience when we look to the years ahead.. Or, we could Isaiah 43, 1-5, where God says: “Fear not… when you pass through the water I will be with you; in the rivers you will not drown; when you walk though fire , you will not be burned; the flames shall not consume you… Because you are precious in my yes… and because I love you.” And remain gratefully in the presence of this loving and protective God with whatever this passage evokes in us.

 

Have a blessed weekend. Stay safe. Stay Happy.

Thank you for listening/reading.

Pictures: Courtesy google Images

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com