Meditation on FACE AND CHARACTER

In this time Covid-19 when the mask is in fashion, a meditation on the Face may be salutatory!

We have ample time during the enforced lockout to really look at the faces of those around us (both with or without masks), and we may discover aspects of character we may have failed to notice even though living in proximity and relating day in and day out for years.

The word "Respect" comes from the Latin "Re-Spicere," which means to take a second look or to look again. Let's us respect those around us, look and look (I prefer the word "contemplate) at the faces around and we may see very different person than  those we thought we knew. Consequently we may develop a more respectful attitude toward these persons and relate more respectfully as well.
A face expresses the mystery of a lifetime! Unravelling it an be fun as well in the time of Covid-19.

Below are a few excerpts from Jungian Analyst James Hillman's , The Force of Character

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Does the face reveal character or hide it?

"I want to grow old without facelifts. They take the life out of a face, the character. I want to have the courage to by loyal to the face I've made," said Marilyn Monroe.

Joyce Nash, Ph.D, after her cosmetic surgery. " "What I saw was disturbing., and it didn't feel like me. something was lost. A sense of sadness welled up.... The frown lines, the sleepy look, the sagging cheeks and neck were gone."

The extravagance of facial musculature is all for expression of major emotions, yes; but even more for such peculiar subtleties of civilization as supercilious contempt, wry irony, wide-eyed fawning, cool unconcern, smiling, and sneering.

By means of these muscles, our faces make pictures. The psyche displays aesthetically its state of soul. Character traits become intelligible images.

Will his jaw quiver, a tear emerge? Will his eyes shift away or narrow slightly? We watch the face for tell-tale signs.

As we get very old, our mind wanders among images and we are brought back to our bodies by infirmities and the caring attention or neglect of others. As our bodies shrivel, we become our faces. Feet, hams, arms, and shoulders lose their shapeliness, while the face gains distinction, even beauty. The old naked body is unsightly, yet its naked face is a subject for long contemplation. The sagging skin and webbing veins on the body tell only of old age, while on the face they enter the composite portrait and contribute to its significance, sometimes its magnificence. The face makes visible the metamorphosis of biology into art.

"The face of a man is the medium through which the invisible in him becomes visible..."

According to Emmanuel Levinas, the most radical, soulful, and profoundly positive French thinker of the last fifty years, the human face as an archetypal phenomenon bears one message: utter vulnerability. Therefore, the face will be disguised, covered, decorated, surgically altered--or, on the contrary, deprived of all possibilities of hiding, as in the abject condition of prisoner, captive, and victim.

Even if gladdened and tautened and lifted out of its destitution, a face remains the visage of mystery. It is soul present as an image, soul in all its vulnerability. For Levinas, the face expresses a sacred power.

The accouterments of fashion are not merely fashion, decoration for attraction or even expression. Wigs, powders, veils and headdresses, well-groomed facial hair, beauty marks aid in keeping the face under control, lest inmost parts be seen.

A face is being made, often against your will, as witness to your character.

EASTER -THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH, HEALING AFTER THE PAIN

The silence of Holy Saturday is shattered by the cracking sounds of the the stone shattering, and the emptiness filled by the fullness brought by a totally unexpected, never-before-happened event - the crucified and entombed Jesus bursting forth from the tomb in a blaze of glorious light.

The simple but powerful message of Easter: "there is sunshine after the rain, there is laughter after the pain"; there is life after death!

"He has risen from the dead and now he is going before you to Galilee" (Gospel of Mathew, 28, 7)

About 750 years before Christ, the Prophet Hosea wrote:

"he has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us; he has struck us down, but he will bandage our wounds; after a day or two he will bring us back to life, and on the third day he will raise us up and we shall live in his presence." (Hosea 6,1-2).

May those infected by the Covid-19 experience the healing, and may all our woundings (psychological, economic, relational etc. ...) during the time of lockout be bandaged, and may we all experience the newness and aliveness that Easter symbolizes.

There is life after Corona! -- A life that is transformed by the Corona!

HOLY SATURDAY: SILENCE AND EMPTINESS

On  Good Friday the story apparently ended. Whatever hopes Jesus - "the fiery prophet from Galilee"  had evoked have been shattered. Remember the words of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus: “We had hoped….. Now there is only a great silence, the silence of the tomb, a silence and the awful emptiness that will last all through Saturday. And the feeling is that it is going to be that way forever.

Holy Saturday is the in-between time – between something old dying and something new emerging. Holy Saturday is the time between the seed falling and dying and germinating new life. It is a time when nothing seems to be happening, when one sees no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Good Friday looks like the end of the story. But not really. The story will continue. Light will appear at the end of the tunnel. Death will be conquered. The silence and gloom of Holy Saturday will be shattered in a blaze of glory on Sunday. 

As a popular song says, “there is sunshine after the rain, there is laughter after the pain.”  

But Sunday is not on our radar on Saturday. On Saturday there is just silence and emptiness- and no future.

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When have we felt life to be a long Holy Saturday, when we felt like we have reached a dead end – with no way forward, no light at the end of the tunnel? …. And then surprised – at the happy turn of events? 

"He has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us; he has struck us down, but he will bandage our wounds; after a day or two he will bring us back to life, on the third day he will raise us and we shall live in his presence." (Prophet Hosea, 6, 1-2)

Self-Care Measures for Health-Care Providers During Stressful Times

Jose Parappully, PhD

Health-care providers are vulnerable to high stress during this Covid-19 crisis. They are exposed to enormous pressure as well as danger: anxiety about their own safety in the absence of Personal Protective Equipment, lack of resources to treat patients, discouragement over inability to cope with patient demands, discouragement and grief over inability to save lives, anxiety about the wellbeing of their family members, as well as absence from them and so on.

In this context, it is essential to take care of their own wellbeing. Here are some suggestions.

Talk to Colleagues and Friends

Talking can be a great stress-reliever. Talk to friends about what you are going through. Share with colleagues about the difficulties you are experiencing at work place and check with them how they are doing. While you need relief for yourself, reach out to help them as well by being available to listen to their difficulties. Talk to family members about how they are coping.

When you cannot do the talk in person face-to-face use the social media avenues and apps available. You can also post your experiences online and enter into a written conversation.

Recognize your Limitations

Do not see yourself as superman or superwoman. There are limits to what you can do for your patients. There are many things not within your control. Even with all the expertise you have, and despite your best intentions, you cannot help all or save all. The virus is too powerful

Take a Break

You are more vulnerable to compassion fatigue at this time. Working long hours under stressful conditions can exhaust you physically and emotionally. Anger at your lack of control over situations or availability of needed medicines or equipment is a real possibility which in turn is going to affect both your work and your relationships. You need time and space to cool down.

When working in a team, organize mini-breaks where you can relieve one another from duty for short intervals.

Sleep

Your devotion to duty can make you deprive yourself of sleep, which will add to the stress and exhaustion and the resulting irritability. Make sure your get some sleep, at least. Take short naps. Just remaining in a quiet place with your eyes shut in the midst of busy schedule will help.

Exercise

Do some simple aerobic exercises. Even taking five minutes to stretch yourself can be helpful. If you have time and opportunity, try some yogic asana or qigong movements. Taking a short walk (even for 5 minutes) from time to time and a longer one if you can afford it will refresh and revitalize you.

Pressing, rubbing or tapping acupressure points occasionally is something that you can easily do when you get a few moments to be by yourself away from patient-care.

Breath Mindfully

Do some mindful (slow, focused) breathing when you move from place, for example, from home to office or from office to patient’s room or ward or workspace.

Abdominal, deep breathing is especially helpful, if you can find some leisure to do it.. Take in the breath through your nostrils, hold it for a few seconds and breathe out through your mouth. Make the out-breath much longer than the in-breath. Making a slight swishing sound, rounding your lips to create very small opening through which to exhale makes the exercise even more beneficial. As you do so, imagine you are taking a spoonful of hot soup to your mouth and gently blow on it to cool it, taking are that you do not spill it. That is, be very slow and gentle in your breathing. This will greatly relax you.

Enjoy Touch

At this time of Social Distancing you are deprived of one the most soothing and healing measures available to us: physical touch. However, imagination and fantasy can help. We know that the brain cannot really distinguish between fantasy and reality. Physically holding some one lovingly or imagining doing so creates identical reactions, I am told. So imagine yourself being comforted by the gentle, soothing and reassuring touch of a loved one.

Eat Healthy

It is easy when one is stressed to find relief in caffeine, nicotine or alcohol. However, these will only add to your stress and tension. Try to avoid them as fare as possible. Instead, have healthy food – nuts and fruits during breaks and a wholesome meal when you can afford the time and possibility. Eating with others, if Social Distancing allows it, is helpful. You can sit at a distance and hold conversations while eating, with colleagues at the workplace or family members at home.

Have Fun

Take some time to do the kind of things you enjoy doing. Reading, writing (keeping a journal besides reliving tension can also be a good record of your experiences and emotions during this time), swimming, biking, virtual and physical games you can engage in by yourself or with others can be relaxing and rewarding. :Listen to music. Watch  movie. Watch the trees, the birds or even the cloud formations and fantasize as we used to as children!

 Meditate and Pray

Take time to meditate. You may have your own favourite type of meditation. The simplest and easiest form and yet a very effective one, is to simply sit quietly and focus on your breath. You don’t need to do any kind of deep or slow breathing. Simply be aware of your breath and the breath will do what it needs to do. When your mind wanders away from the focus on breath gently return it and keep returning. This will calm you down, relax and refresh you.

If you are theistically inclined, you can turn this simple meditation into a prayer. Instead of focusing on your breath, focus on the Divine (whichever way you understand it) dwelling within you. Simply sit in the loving awareness of that Divine presence within you. When your mind wonders away gently return to the loving awareness and keep doing that over and over again as distractions are inevitable. Using a simple monosyllabic word that has for you some association to the Divine (like the name you give it, or words like love, joy, peace etc.) can help you easily return to the loving awareness of the Divine when you realize your mind has wondered away. This is the essence of what today has come to be known as Centering Prayer. According Thomas Merton, monk and clinical psychologist and one of its promoters, Centering Prayer, besides calming oneself, has also profound therapeutic properties.

Mantram prayers too are very useful. A mantram is a short phrase (seven or less words recommended) that you keep repeating. Examples are (Heal me O Lord; Keep me calm and safe; Heal my patient; May all being be happy, etc.). These mantram prayers too will relax you and reduce your stress levels, besides connecting you with the Divine.

 Get Help

If your stress levels are high or you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and other debilitating emotions, speak to a counselor or therapist. You may also want to take a short leave from work, if things are really becoming difficult for you, even if that is against your commitment and devotion to duty.  It is good to act on the dictum, “Healer, heal yourself.”

ENHANCING PSYCHOLOGICAL WELLBEING DURING SOCIAL ISOLATION RELATED TO CORONA LOCKDOWN

ENHANCING PSYCHOLOGICAL WELLBEING DURING SOCIAL ISOLATION RELATED TO CORONA LOCKDOWN

JOSE PARAPPULLY, PhD

Social isolation resulting from the Corona lockdown in itself may not lead to negative psychological consequences. However, prolonged confinement with a group people in restricted space can strain relationships which in turn can cause negative consequences. It is not social isolation per se, but the feeling of being alone, that is, feeling disconnected or alienated that in a significant way leads to negative consequences such as depression and anxiety.

There is robust evidence that loneliness significantly increases risk of premature mortality. Lack of a feeling of connectedness heightens health risks s much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity (Monitor on Psychology, 5, 2017)

Adverse health consequences of loneliness, understood as the subjective sense of a lack of desire connectedness, include besides depression and anxiety, poor sleep quality, accelerated cognitive decline which increases risk of dementia, poor cardiovascular function, higher levels of blood pressure and impaired immunity.

Loneliness heightens levels of stress which we know is at the root of most of major killer diseases. It increases the activity of genes involved in causing inflammation and decreases that of genes involved in antiviral responses, which is especially relevant in this stressful time Covid- 19 and lockdown.

Relationship Strain
Relationship strain is the major contributor to loneliness. We can be lonely even when we are with a group of people, including family members, if our relationships are strained. On the other hand, we do not feel lonely even when alone if we have a subjective sense of connectedness.

Hence the challenge during the lockdown is to stay psychologically connected. It is especially important to take care that relationships do not strain, the possibility for which is quite strong when we stay confined within small spaces with a group of people.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, also known as the Grant Study, which is perhaps the longest running longitudinal study anywhere and anytime (about 80 years running) has unequivocally shown that the number one contributor to health and happiness is satisfying relationships. Strained relationships, on the other hand, take a toll. For example, a bad marriage is worse than no marriage. “The good life,” Dr. Robert Waldinger, the current director of the Harvard Study declares, “is built on good relationships.”

When people are deprived of social connections with those other than they live with, there is increased potential for relational friction with those they live with. When relationships are close-binding, with little outlets for connectedness with others, conflicts within the relationship become more of a possibility. When this happens, psychological distancing from those one lives with is the result. This is a danger that one has to avoid during the imposed social isolation.

Another reason for this potential alienation is that when we live with someone with not much to do and with little interaction with those outside the inner circle, we have ample time to notice negative features in the other we may not have earlier. Along with this, our mind will tend to go back over memory lane and pull up unpleasant situations and incidents involving the other. This can lead to bickering and recrimination that strain the relationship, increasing psychological alienation. 

Prolonged close proximity, even within an intimate relationship, is a psychological health hazard.

Besides, having nothing much to do in the absence of the usual demands that daily life makes on us, without the option of venturing out and engaging in social intercourse, can lead to boredom which in turn can fray nerves and negatively affect the relationships within.

Hence the challengers are: 1. To take special care to avoid fault finding and negativity. 2. To maintain connectedness with those outside. 3. Create pleasant environment. 4 Fight boredom. There are multiple ways to meet these challenges.

Avoid Negativity

Regarding the first: We need to make a special effort to weed out negativity and focus on the positive. Recall together the good times we have had. Leafing through the album of old photographs and commenting on them, narrating the happy times on trips taken together long time ago, as well as interesting personal anecdotes that the others may not know of are very helpful in enhancing relationships. It is important here to remember The Rule of Four. Before we ever mention anything negative about the other, we make sure we have said at least four pleasant or positive things about or to the person! Better still, if anything negative comes up, defer its communication to a later time. Blaming, accusations, fault-finding are especially hazardous during confinement.

Within the confined, and sometimes crammed, space we can become more sensitive to noise, loud conversations and other disruptive sounds. We will be more demanding in regard to use of common space, equipment and devices. There is potential for quarreling and fighting in regard to these.

Sensitivity to others’ need is important. Just as we experience tension and irritation created by the situation, others we live with will also. We need to respond with empathy than annoyance to others’ irritating words and behaviour.

Connect with Friends and Colleagues

In regard to the second: studies have shown that in times of social isolation, more than connection with one’s partner or family members, what helps ward off loneliness is connection with one’s friends and colleagues. Hence keeping in contact with our friends and acquaintances outside our immediate family circle is important. This can be done easily today through the means of communication available to us. An easy topic for conversation with friends and colleagues is discussion on how we are facing this imposed isolation and how we and our work are affected by it.

Even if we are not connecting in person with those outside, virtual connection through social media also helps. Besides, engagement with social media can keep us busy and ward off boredom. However, it is important to keep in mind that too much engagement with social media, especially when it distances us from those we live with is not a good thing. Fake news amply available on social media can cause fear and anxiety.

Create Pleasant Environment

In regard to the third: Creating a pleasant environment in the space we are confined in is especially important. We can do this first of all by avoiding negative and critical conversations. Planning and executing celebratory events brings joy and togetherness.

Busy parents who otherwise have not had enough time to spend with children are given a golden opportunity. Play with them, do fun things with them. Read stories to the very small children.

Cooperative cleaning up the house or giving a new coat of paint to the walls also help create pleasant environment. Even re-arranging the furniture can contribute to creation of a pleasant physical space.

Fight Boredom

In regard to the third: Reduced activity arising from absence from our place and the hassle of travel leaves time on our hands. Not knowing how to utilize it can lead to boredom and irritation.

The activities involved in creating a pleasant environment as described are great ways to beat boredom.

However there is something more important. Even within the closed spaces, we have to create a personal space where we can occasionally isolate ourselves and be able to do things we are interested in without interference from others.

The solitude that such personal spaces provide can also help us to devote time and energy to projects we are interested in. For example, if we are technologically oriented, we can experiment creatively. If we are inclined toward literary pursuits, this is the time to write that article that we have dreamed of, but had not found time for. We can start writing the first pages of that wonderful book have been dreaming of writing. The time at our disposal gives us opportunity also to try out creative cooking and baking.

Settling comfortably with a favourite book can be both exciting and relaxing. When we do that from our balcony or from our garden (f we have one) we are also refreshed by nature. Sitting quietly outdoors, doing nothing important, but simply taking in the nature around us, can be very refreshing and will make the time spent within less boring.

Exercise is a great boredom buster. Moreover, it energizes mind an body, reduces anxiety and increases feelings of wellbeing.  Yoga, qigong, tai-chi, and simple aerobics, besides beating boredom, help stimulate and strengthen the immune system. Acupressure is a very simple routine we can engage in when we sit alone or with others. It is as simple as pressing, rubbing or tapping some specific pressure points in the body. We can easily find these points and methods through a search on Google.

Tending to plants is a great stress reliever. Some of us may have potted plants inside the room. Some of us may be even more fortunate and have a garden to tend. Contact with mother earth and elements of nature through gardening will refresh our bodies and spirit and enliven our relationships, besides helping us fight off boredom.

The lockdown, despite the limitations and inconveniences it imposes upon us, can also turn out to be a great life-enhancer.