Psyche & Soul 26: MOVING INTO THE NEW YEAR WITH HOPE!

Podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-26-Psyche--Soul--59-eo70mr

As 2020 comes to a close, we look forward to 2021 with Hope.

2020 changed our world. 2020 has been very distressing and disruptive and in some sense a disastrous year. A year which has affected the global society in so many negative and painful ways. Covid-19 blighted our hopes and dreams, disrupted our lives in drastic ways. It undermined our sense of security and predictability. Uncontrollable spread of the deadly virus led to over a million being infected and to the death of hundreds of thousands, leaving families in grief, sometimes in despair. The lockdown caused immense suffering, especially to the vulnerable. Travel was curtailed, social contact was restricted, and we were forced to be homebound. Economy collapsed, leading to loss of hundreds of thousands of jobs. Haunting pictures of deprivation and death on the road have seared into our collective memory. There is a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, increase in mental illness and suicide.

In this context, hope is our greatest ally. Every New Year brings a fresh outlook; we look forward to better times. We dream.

And we really hope that 2021 will usher in that freshness and newness in a very special way. We need this newness very badly in every sphere of our lives. A newness that will help us wipe away the bad memories, the nightmares, of 2020. Hope that the New Year will dissipate the virus, restore health and wellbeing to all of us, usher in a safer, more peaceful, and a more equitable and compassionate society.

WHAT IS HOPE?

Hope is the conviction of having a meaningful future despite obstacles and difficulties, and also choosing the pathways and means to make that future real.

Persons high on hope have visions of who they want to be and what they want to accomplish in life and are able to motivate themselves, and feel resourceful to accomplish their objectives.

 Hope includes practical pathways to realize the bright future we envisage. We work hard at realizing that dreamed of future. We persist in seeking goals despite setbacks and obstacles. We are also flexible enough to find different ways to get to our goals or to switch goals, if needed.

Hope and optimism go together. Optimism provides us with a faith that the future is going to be bright, that we can accomplish our goals, whatever they may be. When in a tight spot, we reassure ourselves that things will get better. Hope thus involves faith, belief in one’s capacity to achieve desired results.

 

HOPE THEORY

This is the understanding of hope provided by C. R. Snyder, the leading psychologist exploring hope. Snyder and his colleagues have come up with what they call the “Hope Theory.” The theory holds that hope involves two types of thinking: agency thinking and pathway thinking.

 Agency thinking refers to our determination to achieve our goals despite possible obstacles,

When we are high on hope, we embrace such self-talk phrases as “I can do this” and “I am not going to be stopped.”

Pathways thinking refers to the ways in which we strive to achieve these personal goals.

It involves generating an effective route to a desired goal. When that route does not bear the desired fruit, we create alternate routes and persist until desired outcomes are realized.

 

HOPE IS NOT WISHFUL THINKING

Hope, thus, is not mere wishful thinking, an illusion. It is real. It involves having goals and working towards realization of those goals, despite obstacles. Hope calls for determination, commitment and persistence. Hope is aptly expressed in Barack Obama’s famous election slogan. “Yes, We Can!” It was not just a slogan, a belief. He set in motion a powerful election machine, and organized an army of committed volunteers working hard to make the dream come true.

BENEFITS OF HOPE

A large body of research shows that hope promotes health and happiness. Hope buffers individuals against a number of physical and mental problems and helps them heal faster and easier. Individuals who maintain high levels of hope when battling illness significantly enhance their chances of recovery. They remain appropriately energized and focused on what they need to do in order to recuperate.

 Hope is negatively correlated with depression, anxiety, and anger and positively correlated with life satisfaction, positive physical and mental health, self-esteem, ability to adapt and cope in various situations and longer life.

Because of these benefits, hope would be our best companion to journey through 2021. We need to believe that 2021 will be a better year, and strive with confidence and persistence to make it a better year for us and our world.

 

Introspection

·         How do we really feel as we come to the end of 2020 and move toward 2021?

·         What is it that we hope for us and our world as we move into 2021?

·         What is the newness that we would like to experience in the New Year? What is it we need to do to bring about that newness?

Prayer

Sacred scripture provides frequent assurance from God that he will bring about better times. Prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah especially speak of the better times that God will usher in particularly after times of suffering and deprivation. For example, Isaiah says, something which is very relevant in the context of the suffering and hopelessness brought by Covid-19.: “And (God) will destroy…the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces…” (25, 6-8)

In the Book of Revelation, we hear the One sitting on the throne in heaven saying: “See, I make all things new!” (21, 5)

Christmas, the Incarnation of God, that we just celebrated, is not only about the embodiment of God, divinization of nature, as we heard in last week’s podcast, but also about God’s comforting presence with us. Through the prophet Isaiah God assures us: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you…. Fear not, for I am with you” (43, 2-5). And Jesus’ final words in the gospel of Mathew is: “I am with you always, to the close of the age.” (28, 20)

This protective and caring God, our Emmanuel, is very much with us here and now, in whatever circumstances we find ourselves at year end. We could consciously attune ourselves to God’s presence to us and spend some time talking to God about our travails of 2020, about our hopes for 2021, the newness that we would like to experience. And listen to what God has to tell us, to discern what God’s New Year gift/message is to us.

I wish you a very happy, safe, healthy and blessed New Year.

Thank you for listening.

Jose Parappully SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Psyche & Soul 21: PSYCHOLOGY, SPIRITUALITY AND RELIGION

 podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2--21-PSYCHE--SOUL--50-emq4hm

Hello, this is Jose Parappully, Salesian priest and clinical psychologist at Sumedha Centre for Psychospritual Wellbeing at Jeolikote, Uttarakhand, with another edition of Psyche & Soul.

The title of this podcast “Psyche & Soul” alludes to a profound truth, namely “psyche,” that stands of psychology, and “soul,” standing for spirituality, go together.

We normally assume that the two are very different. Not really. Both have to do with everyday life and behaviour and thus have much in common. Good psychology is good spirituality, and good spirituality is good psychology

For a very long time there was mutual animosity between proponents of religion and spirituality on one hand and psychologists on the other. That has changed. Today three is clear acknowledgment that both psychology and spirituality are integral part of being human and both have a positive impact on health and wellbeing.

GROWING INTEREST IN THE SPIRITUAL

This changed attitude is in keeping with emerging trends in society and culture. Three is today an increased interest in spirituality on the part of people all over. Survey after survey shows that the number of people who say they are now more spiritual than they used to be is considerably larger than those who feel they had become less spiritual.

Sales of books show that there is a thirst among people today for things spiritual. Already a few years earlier Chicken Soup for the Soul had broken new grounds in publishing and become a runaway best seller, and various soups as sequel to the original recipe have been churned out year after year.

A few years ago, a distinguished group of business people representing some of the richest corporations in the world went on a long retreat for the explicit purpose of designating the single overriding need of contemporary society. The conclusion they arrived at, to their own surprise, was this: “the single overriding need of contemporary society is to rediscover, celebrate and incarnate the sacred.”

The rich and famous - business tycoons, media stars, fashion models and sports stars - are leaving lucrative and glittering careers and moving into monasteries, ashrams, Zen Centres, and the wilderness in search of the sacred.

Prayer and meditation groups are in vogue. Quasi-spiritual movements like the Art of Living attract thousands of enthusiasts. Catholic Charismatic Retreat Centres are mushrooming.

Among the new spirituality seekers the vast majority are young people. For example, more than 80 percent of those attending the Art of Living gatherings is said to be young people. The Jesus Youth is another testament to this newfound interest among the young in spirituality.

SPIRITUALITY AND RELIGION

While there is growing interest in spirituality, there is also disillusionment with religion. Spirituality and religion are related but they are distinct concepts. Both religion and spirituality are born of the awareness of the transcendent—that which is beyond us. In religion the transcendent is often personified as a Supreme Being or Deity –and finds expression in a shared belief system (Creed), common rituals (Cult), and generally accepted norms of behaviour (Code). These are popularly known as the three C’s of classical religions.

Spirituality, unlike religion, is a personal experience of the transcendent, not necessarily mediated by social or religious institutions – through the 3 C’s. This personal experience can be had within and without religious traditions. Thus, we can have a profound experience of the transcendent when we worship together in church, temple or mosque. However, we can also have a profound experience of the transcendent through music and dance, in the beauty of nature, at the seashore or mountain top, or the intimacy of a love relationship, and in any moment of ordinary life.

Spirituality unlike religion, is a very broad concept. It involves everything that enhances the sense of the sacred. True spirituality enables us to be in touch with and feel connected with the divine that is present in our everyday life, and is not limited just to religious worship or practices. When we are spiritual, this sense of the sacred and of the divine permeates the whole of our life, and manifests in the way we live and relate.

For introspection

·         Do you see both psychology and spirituality having much that is common? Or do you see the two are quite separate?

·         How do you feel about the distinction made between spirituality and religion? Are you more of a spiritual person than a religious person?

 

Prayer

Spirituality is best expressed in relationships. The sacred takes on flesh and blood in communion, both with the divine, with one another. We know that God wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. Jesus, for example, invites us to abide in him. In Chapter 15, 1-15 of John’s Gospel, Jesus uses the metaphor of the wine and the branches, inviting us to deep union with him, and to love one another just as he loves us. We could read this beautiful passage, stay with whatever it evokes in us and express our desire to abide deeply in him and grow in love of him and one another.

Have a pleasant weekend. Be well. Be safe. Blessed.

Thank you for listening.

Pictures: Courtesay Google Images

 Jose Parappully SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Psyche & Soul 9 LIVING WITH MEANING AND PURPOSE

Podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-9-Psyche--Soul---LIVING-WITH-MEANING-AND-PURPOSE-25-eip7u8

 

“I don’t find any meaning in my life. I wonder why I am living like this. Just dragging myself on from day to day. Sometime I wish I were dead” so said the 28-year old Sunita during a personal meeting with me at a seminar.

Sunita is not the only one who feels this way. There are many like her who find it difficult to experience a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Quite a few of these persons gradually sink into clinical depression and sometimes think of ending their life and even attempt to do so. This is very much true during these days of the Covid-19 lockdown, when things that gave meaning to one’s life may no longer be available.

 

Recent research on health and happiness show that a sense of meaning in life is one of the major contributors to emotional and physical wellbeing. Emotionally healthy persons find life a meaningful adventure. They have something that gives meaning and significance to their life, such as an ideology, a dream, a commitment. According to the pioneering personality psychologist, Gordon Allport, “one of the key challenges to maturity is to invest daily life with meaning—to find or create opportunities to make our lives matter”

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist who has researched happiness and wellbeing for over 25 years observes in her book “The How of Happiness” that having goals in and of themselves is strongly associated with health and happiness. Persons working toward a personally significant goal are far happier than those who do not have such dreams or aspirations. Having goals gives us a feeling of control over our lives and bolsters our self-esteem. It directly influences our physical and mental health. 

When we do not find purpose and meaningfulness, we become vulnerable to the onslaughts of ill-health, both physical and mental. However, when we have these, we can triumph over any tragedy. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the horrors of the concentration camp at Auschwitz, has built up a whole philosophy around meaningfulness. What helped him to escape alive from Auschwitz, while almost all of his fellow inmates perished, was a dream he cherished: his determination to be with his wife again. While the others lost hope, his dream sustained him and enabled him to survive. A central message in his later writings is a quote from Nietzsche” “If you have a WHY to live for, you can live any HOW.” In other words, if we have meaning and purpose, something to live for, then we will face and triumph over any adversity. As the popular song “The Impossible Dream” from the musical “Man of La Mancha” says it: we can “march through hell for a heavenly cause.”  

Trauma and tragedy are part of the human condition. Those who have something to live for will find it much easier to triumph over these. They will be able not only to makes sense of these, but also create something beautiful out of them. Great artists were able to triumph over the tragedies that befell them, because their passion for their art sustained them. These artists have created some of their most appreciated masterpieces in the midst of great suffering. There is, for example, great poignancy and sensitivity in Beethoven’s String Quartets composed during the years of intense pain and anguish.

One research on bereaved parents found that one of the processes that helped parents whose children were murdered to heal from their trauma was making sense of the tragedy that had befallen them. Creating meaning out of the tragedy was for them a transformational experience. Many of these parents would go on to set up foundations in memory of their loved ones that would benefit a large number of parents who have lost a son or daughter, as well as society at large. This reaching out was one way they were able restore meaning and purpose that had been destroyed by the tragic event.

According to personality psychologist Dan McAdams, two dynamics contribute significantly to finding meaning and purpose, especially after misfortune: a) transform or redeem bad events into good outcomes, and (b) set goals for the future that benefit society.

Reaching out to others, making others’ lives significant is one of the major ways that we can bring meaningfulness into our own lives. This is something that we can do even during these days of the Covid lockdown.

We could now take a few moments to ask ourselves: What gives meaning and purpose to my life? ….. If I am experiencing meaninglessness at this time, what is it I can do to create meaning and purpose?

There is a scene in the Gospel of John at the very beginning of Jesus’ public ministry where two disciples of John the Baptist are walking behind Jesus. After a while, Jesus turns back toward them and asks them: “What do you want?” That is a question that each of us needs to answer from time to time. We could now imagine that scene, place ourselves in the place of the disciples and tell Jesus what we are looking for. We could listen to what he tells us in response and spend a few minutes in his company.

 …… Have a pleasant weekend. Be well. Be safe. Be blessed.

Jose Parappully PhD

Pictures: Courtesy Google Images

Cathoic Psychologists in Varanasi

The 10^th National Meet of the Conference of Catholic Psychologists of India (CCPI) was held at Nav Sadhana, Varanasi from the 19^th to 21^st of this month.

Catholic Psychologists and Counsellors had been meeting every year for three days since 2000. Two years ago they officially formed a Conference, with Dr. Jose Parappully as its first President.

The theme of this year’s meeting was “Children with Special Needs.” The meeting was commenced with a Eucharist presided over by Fr. Subhash, the General of the Indian Missionary Society (IMS) who have their headquarters and motherhouse at Varanasi. Fr. Subhash reminded the participants that sensitivity and love in dealing with children with special needs can have profoundly transformative impact on them.

The inaugural session was presided over by Most Rev. Patrick D’Souza, Bishop Emeritus of Varanasi. The session began with a beautifully rendered prayer dance and welcome song by the students of Nav Sadhana College of Music and Dance. Fr. Jose Parappully, the CCPI president welcomed the guests and participants.

The Chief Guest, Professor Indramani Lal Singh, Head of the Department of Psychology at Benares Hindu University (BHU) described needs of special children as a “gigantic challenge” for the profession of psychology, a challenge that has to be met with sensitivity and love. He pointed out that the two major “disorders” children suffer from today are the Disorder of Incompetence and the Disorder of the Fear of Failure

The resource person for the first day, Mimansa Popat, a Special Education Consultant and Counsellor from Mumbai, presented an overview of Different Forms of Learning Disability, and some typical academic problems of learning disabled children, and the skills required in working effectively with these children.

On the second day, Suzanne Rodricks, an expert in Special Education and Learning Disabilities and a Member of the Rehabilitation Council of India and former faculty of Centre of Special Education, SNDT Women’s University, Mumbai, helped the participants understand the World of Special Needs Education. She described the different forms of special needs and ways to address them.

On the third day, Dr. Jose Puthenveed, Director of St. Joseph’s Guidance and Counselling Centre, Kollam, presented the psychosocial problems of school children. He highlighted the major problems affecting school children currently, some of their causes and the behavioural approaches and interventions that are helpful in addressing them.

There were also moments of relaxation too. On the first night participants were treated to a cultural programme by the students of Nav Sadhana College of Music and Dance. On the second day participants went on a “Varanasi Darshan,” the highlight of which was participation in the “Maha Arati” on the banks of the river Ganges.